Struggling
by CBloom2
Summary: Slightly au/continuations of a couple of scenes from last Saturday's episode. Didn't like the way Cal spoke to Lofty so decided to put it right.


**A massive thank you to everyone who read and reviewed my last story. I didn't get round to thanking you all individually so this is my thank you to you all!**

**Ok, so after seeing the last episode I have been wanting to write something but was struggling due to the lack of broments between our two doctors (even though we were spoiled last week, I wanted a little more. That being said, what we got were fab! I love worried Cal!)**

**What I didn't like was the way Cal treated Lofty, even though I understood why, so this is my slightly different take on some scenes from the last episode. Hope you like it! By the way, the diologue from the episode may not be spot on, but then again, this is my take on it.**

**Usual disclaimer, anyone you recognise from the show, belongs to the show and not to me!**

**Struggling.**

"The bag you gave my brother this morning, what was in it?"

Lofty felt his stomach drop, "I don't know, he just asked me to collect it from his flat," he lied, the best he could.

"What was in it Lofty?"

Lofty swallowed, "A suit..."

"A black suit?" Cal breathed, his forehead furrowing.

Lofty nodded. Cal's expression turned to one of annoyance, "Did you not notice the huge dressing under his pyjama top?"

"Strangely, I wasn't looking at your brothers' chest!" Lofty chuckled.

"He's had a Thorocotomy (not sure if I've spelt it correctly) you...moron," Cal looked straight at him, "You moron," he walked away shaking his head.

Lofty sighed deeply. He knew that Cal was right, but his brother had actually tricked him to fetch the suit, telling him that he was going to be discharged that afternoon, when in actual fact, he was taking himself off to the funeral. But he would never drop Ethan in it with his suddenly extremely over protective big brother.

He turned back to his patient, only to find that she had disappeared. His day was just getting better and better!

Later that day, Lofty came across Cal and Lily near reception. Cal was just explaining that his call had gone to voicemail again.

"He probably turned it off for the funeral," Lily suggested.

Cal looked up at them both, worry clearly etched on his face, "It must be over by now, surely..." He looked down at his phone again.

"You can't do this," Lily told him quietly.

"Do what?"

"You can't look after him and look after patients, "Lofty told him, "Today has proved that."  
>Suddenly there was a commotion behind them as Charlie and Ash escorted an extrememly pale Ethan, who was walking gingerly towards them.<p>

Before Lofty knew it Ethan had been whisked away by the two young doctors to be smothered some more.

Because his shift had ended, he decided to get changed and go to the wake at the pub to toast Jeff.

After he had got changed, he decided to check on Ethan before he left.

As he walked into Resus, Cal threw him a look that could have almost turned him to stone. It was not lost on Ethan, who looked questioningly at the young nurse. Lofty shrugged his shoulders, he wasn't about to cause any trouble, "What was that look for Cal?" he asked his brother, who was still studying the readout.

"What look? There wasn't a 'look'! He insisted, not actually turning round. Suddenly, Ethan understood, "You didn't blame Lofty did you?" Cal stayed silent, "You did didn't you! It wasn't his fault..."

"He brought you your suit," was all Cal could say.

"I told him I was being discharged this afternoon..."

"But you're not being discharged for a few days yet," Cal now turned to his brother in disbelief.

"I know that, but I failed to explain that to Lofty..."  
>"So you deceived us both...and look what happened to you," Cal's anger returned, all born out of concern for his brother.<p>

"I just pushed myself a little to hard, no harm done," Ethan tried to placate his irate brother, who huffed as he turned back round to look at the machines.

Lofty felt slightly out of place, "Look I just wanted to see how you were before I join everyone at the wake. You coming Cal?"

The older man stayed silent, "Yes he'll be over in a little while," Ethan told him, smiling his thanks to the nurse.

Lofty grinned back at him as he turned to leave.

"What did you say to him Cal?" Ethan asked, knowing how his brother could shoot his mouth off sometimes before thinking.

"I just made it perfectly clear that he had stuffed up by bringing the suit. I wanted him to realise what a stupid mistake he had made."

"Cal he's a friend. I deceived him, it's my fault," Ethan explained quietly.

"No it's not your fault. You're not of sound mind at the moment..."

"Cal, I'm not stupid, but I needed to go today. I needed to say goodbye and thank you." Ethan's voice began to crack. Hearing the crack in his voice brought Cal back to the here and now. He sat on the bed next to his brother, "I understand Ethan, I do. It's just that..."

"I know..." Ethan breathed, then looked up to his brother.

Cal smiled, "Ok this is getting awkward now! It's not like we're going to hug or anything..." he chuckled.

Ethan turned as far as he could before it pulled on his side and put his arms around his brother, "Thank you Cal... for everything."

He smiled as he felt his brother's arms tighten round him, "Now go and have a drink or two with the rest of the gang...and have one for me too."

"Let's get you to your room first, then I'll go," Cal told him as he stood to help him up.

"And buy one for Lofty too," Ethan got the last word.

About half a hour later, Cal walked into the pub. The first thing he did was to seek out Lofty, "Erm Lofty can I have a word?"

Lofty looked at him, trying to work out if he was going to be hit with another 'moron' comment. Robyn, Jamie and Max started to move away, "No stay - you may not hear this very often..." he smiled as he took a seat, "Look Lofty I just want you to know that I'm truely sorry for what I said to you earlier today...I was just worried about my brother."

Lofty looked at the others, shock quite evident on his face, "It's ok Cal. You were right. I was a moron. I believed him when he said he was being discharged, I had no idea he was discharging himself to go to the funeral."

"He's a bit of a dark horse that brother of yours," Max chuckled.

"You have no idea. Look I want to thank you all for putting up with me the last few days..."

"It's actually been quite nice seeing the caring side of you. Who knew you cared about Ethan so much," Robyn told him, but stopped when she saw tears in his eyes.

"I've always cared. He's my little brother...and to be so close to losing him..." he wiped his eyes, "Who wants a drink? On me..."

As he stood at the bar, ordering the drinks, he felt a hand on his arm. He turned to see Lofty, "It's alright to care you know - and if you ever want to talk, which obviously you macho doctors don't, but if you do, you've got a lot of people who want to help."

Cal nodded gratefully just as Charlie got up to gain everyone's attention.

**So that's it. Not sure if I'm that pleased with it now I've written it, but I'm sure you will let me know. Thanks for reading.**


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